On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: a crazy Pakistani Taxi Driver
My husband asked the questions only left brain people think about. They think about all of the details that are about as much fun as a turd in a punch bowl. After three months of anticipation my husband is putting the kabosh on my enthusiasm and seriously killing my buzz.
For many women, it is extremely confusing. I remember when I first arrived staring with dropped jaw at the naughty nurse uniform and the stick on pasties in the front window of the Fredrick’s of Hollywood store. Fredrick’s is definitely a little risqué even for the United States.
It’s not okay to clean with green algae water! I hand motioned to the cleaning man who lives in a concrete human warehouse without running water. He responded with a smile and in his version of the English language, said he understood me — and then he furiously kept on cleaning.
So I am in the car with Enrico and some SH%&T IS GOING DOWN! And that SH%&T is us! We are going down a sand dune the size of the freaking Tetons in Colorado. And my eyes are super glued shut and I would’ve been okay if it weren’t for the Italian in the back seat.
They ran, squatted, and did sit-ups in the neighborhood garden every morning. I didn’t have the heart to tell them their mat was located directly on top of my dogs favorite dumping grounds.
And then it dawned on me. “How many of you do not know what a turkey is?” Several people raised their hands. “How many of you have never heard of the holiday Thanksgiving?” Several more people raised their hands.