My Life. My Mom Jeans.

Ever look at yourself in the mirror and think I seriously suck? Somehow I went to sleep when I was 42 and woke up in mom jeans. I used to be smoking hot. Just ask me and I will tell you — seriously smoking! And then I got married later in life, quit smoking, had a child, got a Masters degree and here I stand in front of the mirror of life contemplating whether to move to a Muslim country. Isn’t that what everyone decides to do when they do a self inventory and realize they look like Mrs. Brady muffin-topping in a polyester pantsuit? So what do I have to lose if I pack up and move to the Middle East? It’s not like I have a lot of friends in Arizona that I can’t bear to live without. I started three new companies but the recession put an end to anything new and innovative. My husband’s job hasn’t been secure in over two years. Why not just throw caution to the wind and pack my Mrs. Brady clothes and move to the home of the abaya?

Two weeks after returning home to the USA the job offer came in from Abu Dhabi. They wanted my husband to help manage a hospital outside of Abu Dhabi. I reflected on the crack house like villa that the helpful Abu Dhabi Realtor showed us,  the beautiful school that Mini would attend, and all of the travel we could do while on the other side of the world. It is a hop and skip to so many beautiful and exotic places. And the best thing of all, I really don’t like Arabic food, so I could easily lose 20 pounds in the first month. Yes, I do believe it is wise to base my husband’s career choices on my opportunity to lose weight quickly and effortlessly. No more fish tacos and margaritas from Blanco tempting me. No more pizzas from Grimaldi’s. No more Chinese food from the Chinese Cultural Center. All things awesome and delicious will be gone. Wow! What an awesome mental purge.

And with a quick signature it was done. The work contract was signed and delivered. Now all that was left was the hard work. Sorting through four storage units filled with the remnants of our life. What do you pack to go to a Middle Eastern country? I sorted, I donated, I pitched, and I sold. Four yard sales and four weeks later I had successfully pared down my life into one storage unit and one small overseas shipping container. This is what I brought with me:

• Mattress/Headboard – a bad nights sleep can ruin your life
• Dining Room Table – love it
• Two Couches – new Pottery Barn sectional
• Computers
• File Cabinet
• 2 Book shelves
• Hubby’s Desk
• Electric keyboard

Passports, visas, attestation, all is done. We are down to the final details of the move. The dogs are with a private dog sitter for three months until we find a villa. And Juanita, our nanny, is wrapping up our loose ends after we leave. Really, all things considered, moving overseas isn’t that difficult to do. At some point adrenalin kicks in and you reach the point where you don’t give a smack anymore and you say screw it and jump in with both feet first. Then you tell yourself, this isn’t going to be the worst thing that will ever happen to me. And if I am lucky, it could be one of the best.