expat

In the Beginning

Eventually I weeded through all the weird and funky stuff such as KFC (they serve odd pieces of the bird that I didn’t even know existed — second thought, is it a bird? And what really ticked me off is a hamburger bun in lieu of a biscuit. Freaking commies), Dominos is just awful, Pizza Hut serves ketchup with the pizza, Hardees has odd combinations that no true American would be caught dead putting in their mouth, and then there is Subway. Thank GOD for Subway.

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The Election

The absolutely worst scenerio for me. Here we are, most of us are in the UAE for the first time. Probably just arrived a month ago, feeling completely and utterly lost, and I am running against someone who has the answers to the questions on the minds of everyone in this room. Such as, where do I find Charmin toilet paper? A gas station? And Miracle Whip? I prepared a strategy which usually works for me. In a pinch crack a joke. Yes, absolutely, this is what I will do. And then it dawned on me. How exactly do I win the Korean vote? I’ve never gotten the punchline to a Korean joke — have you?

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