Some women are starving for friendship so they sign up for every ladies luncheon, girl’s night out and volunteer for every school function. Whatever it takes to keep them busy. Just hoping they will discover their overseas BFF and life will be full of Cosmos, reruns of Bridesmaids, and incredible shopping adventures.
Which may sound like a dream to some, yet in reality it is a trade-off for things expats hold dear but gave away for the experience of traveling the world and seeing places and things many only see when they close their eyes.
My husband asked the questions only left brain people think about. They think about all of the details that are about as much fun as a turd in a punch bowl. After three months of anticipation my husband is putting the kabosh on my enthusiasm and seriously killing my buzz.
It’s not okay to clean with green algae water! I hand motioned to the cleaning man who lives in a concrete human warehouse without running water. He responded with a smile and in his version of the English language, said he understood me — and then he furiously kept on cleaning.
So I am in the car with Enrico and some SH%&T IS GOING DOWN! And that SH%&T is us! We are going down a sand dune the size of the freaking Tetons in Colorado. And my eyes are super glued shut and I would’ve been okay if it weren’t for the Italian in the back seat.
They ran, squatted, and did sit-ups in the neighborhood garden every morning. I didn’t have the heart to tell them their mat was located directly on top of my dogs favorite dumping grounds.
“She used to sit, watch TV, and eat all day. Not even one hour work a day. When we went out, she only ordered the Ribeye and the shrimps. One day she woke up and I swear she was possessed… Screaming Allah in the backyard and making cou-cou and ouah-ouah sounds…. the next day it got louder. I knew I had to send her back when she put a white towel on her head and started walking like a mummy. It was FREAKY!”