Do you know how badly it would hurt us to see the disappointment in our children’s eyes, if years from now we told them story of the opportunity we abandoned which would’ve changed their perspective for the rest of their lives? That’s why we chose to go away.
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me: a crazy Pakistani Taxi Driver
It’s not okay to clean with green algae water! I hand motioned to the cleaning man who lives in a concrete human warehouse without running water. He responded with a smile and in his version of the English language, said he understood me — and then he furiously kept on cleaning.
So I am in the car with Enrico and some SH%&T IS GOING DOWN! And that SH%&T is us! We are going down a sand dune the size of the freaking Tetons in Colorado. And my eyes are super glued shut and I would’ve been okay if it weren’t for the Italian in the back seat.
And then it dawned on me. “How many of you do not know what a turkey is?” Several people raised their hands. “How many of you have never heard of the holiday Thanksgiving?” Several more people raised their hands.
“She used to sit, watch TV, and eat all day. Not even one hour work a day. When we went out, she only ordered the Ribeye and the shrimps. One day she woke up and I swear she was possessed… Screaming Allah in the backyard and making cou-cou and ouah-ouah sounds…. the next day it got louder. I knew I had to send her back when she put a white towel on her head and started walking like a mummy. It was FREAKY!”
Eventually I weeded through all the weird and funky stuff such as KFC (they serve odd pieces of the bird that I didn’t even know existed — second thought, is it a bird? And what really ticked me off is a hamburger bun in lieu of a biscuit. Freaking commies), Dominos is just awful, Pizza Hut serves ketchup with the pizza, Hardees has odd combinations that no true American would be caught dead putting in their mouth, and then there is Subway. Thank GOD for Subway.