The Poop Plane

I am seriously addicted to seeing the red lipstick on the mouth of my flight hostess as she says, almost in dramatic slow-motion, Can — I —get— you —a —drink? Well, yes, you absolutely can get me a drink! I will take a flute of your finest so I can snap an obligatory boasting pic of me clinking my champagne glass with a filtered view of my nuts in a china bowl in the background.