“She used to sit, watch TV, and eat all day. Not even one hour work a day. When we went out, she only ordered the Ribeye and the shrimps. One day she woke up and I swear she was possessed… Screaming Allah in the backyard and making cou-cou and ouah-ouah sounds…. the next day it got louder. I knew I had to send her back when she put a white towel on her head and started walking like a mummy. It was FREAKY!”
Eventually I weeded through all the weird and funky stuff such as KFC (they serve odd pieces of the bird that I didn’t even know existed — second thought, is it a bird? And what really ticked me off is a hamburger bun in lieu of a biscuit. Freaking commies), Dominos is just awful, Pizza Hut serves ketchup with the pizza, Hardees has odd combinations that no true American would be caught dead putting in their mouth, and then there is Subway. Thank GOD for Subway.
The absolutely worst scenerio for me. Here we are, most of us are in the UAE for the first time. Probably just arrived a month ago, feeling completely and utterly lost, and I am running against someone who has the answers to the questions on the minds of everyone in this room. Such as, where do I find Charmin toilet paper? A gas station? And Miracle Whip? I prepared a strategy which usually works for me. In a pinch crack a joke. Yes, absolutely, this is what I will do. And then it dawned on me. How exactly do I win the Korean vote? I’ve never gotten the punchline to a Korean joke — have you?
The place was packed elbow to elbow with thousands of our closest Muslim friends celebrating the holiday and it was my introduction to the ever stylish Muslim swimsuit
Me, on the other hand, wanted to slap him for wasting our time. I gave him a serious what the hell is wrong with you look and we returned to our hotel with our excitement squashed and a sad feeling of uncertainty.
At first they are a little frightening because as Americans we are not used to seeing people from areas that are so poor and so under-developed, and at first, these people appeared barbaric but eventually I got used to seeing them and realized that I have nothing to worry about because the crime rate here is very low and the place is extremely safe.