The Glamorous Life

Living in possibly the world’s glitziest city takes cash. Cold. Hard. Cash. There might be an oil field a few kilometers from my villa but I am not on the payroll. So therefore, we expats have to find ways to make the biggest splash with the least amount of cash — because this awesome lifestyle doesn’t come cheap! Those gold flaked cappuccinos… well, they don’t grow on trees.

The expat secret to living the luxury lifestyle can be found in one little book or now that we are in 2015, should I say, one little mobile app. And everyone knows it. It’s called The Entertainer. 

Want to go to Thailand? No problem. The Entertainer has got us covered. Buy one and you get one. You CANNOT beat the deal. Want a steak dinner from a luxurious restaurant? No problem. The Entertainer has us covered. And since we don’t have a bulging wallet visible from Mars — we ain’t ashamed to use it. I will pop out an Entertainer coupon regardless of who is with me. The Pope. I’m doing it. Snobby-nose Anna Wintour of Vogue is lunching with me. I’m using it — I seriously don’t care.

The other day I scheduled my anniversary dinner at my fave steakhouse only to find out that they no longer participated. Boo. Stinking. Hoo. I had to cancel. I went to their competitor across town. And then I tweeted them and told them how they forced me away. I hated it, but I had to do it. I think I might cyber shame them until they join The Entertainer again.

The whole thing has me seriously stressed. Thank goodness there is an Entertainer coupon for a buy one get one spa day. Nope. Not kidding. The Entertainer pays for my best friend to attend with me. THAT is how much they love us. They don’t ever want us to go to a spa alone. It would be a terrible experience having to get yourself all rubbed down and then go off to an empty locker room to change. Nobody to drink champagne with afterwards. Geez!

Remember that crazy desert safari trip I took? You can read about that here. I almost died. The Entertainer did that too. They almost Entertained me to death…not really of course, because I travel with my own personal physician (my husband) so I was good, but The Entertainer was willing to entertain me to death! That is love. It doesn’t get much better than that. Really.

Basically, let me wrap it up for you in a nutshell. It’s buy one and get one. And if there isn’t an Entertainer coupon — I am not doing it. It ain’t happening because I am saving for my child’s college education beach house in Santa Barbara, California. So unless you give it to me for free. It’s.no.can.do. My goal last year was to visit every place in my Entertainer book. I almost succeeded. It’s a crazy life here in the UAE. You cannot manage to do EVERY opportunity listed but I am going to try again in 2015. I will give it the old expat woman try. I will go to every nail salon, spa, hotel room, brunch, safari, kid zone, teeth whitening, hair removal, cosmetic tattooing, sofa cleaning, steak eating, kayaking, pottery making…..adventure that is in the Entertainer. I will be like Jared and his Subway sandwiches. And then I will tour the world without a care.

So there. I twisted your arm — go and buy your Entertainer mobile app! And then give me a call because I will be your +1 as they say in the PR biz. I will drink champagne with you after our massage. I have nothing better to do than to hang out with you as your +1. Somebody has to do it. And it might as well be me.

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